Saturday, 14 March 2015

Blam blam dakka dakka!

More trials and tribulations from the very 'Heavy Burtation!'

Here she is as of mission 6 (or 7... something like that)
Still finding small fish secreted away in cubby holes and panels due to a rather impromptu landing on a big wet version of the runway (the Channel...)

 This is what happens when you try to stop off in Amsterdam for a pint...

After being rescued by Mermaids the lads paddled back to the hanger for tea and scones.
Blam blam and Lance managed to get themselves a nice cushy bed in the infirmary for the next mission (Lance 'the dodger' finally copped a round to the knee and Blam blam pulled a sickie...)
making way for Darris' sister's former roommate Fingers to sully the left hand side of the cockpit with his presence and someone left the bomb bay doors open again allowing Hotlips to sneak back into the tail gun for a nap.

The next death defying (and sleep depriving for Darris) mission would involve a near suicidal attack on some ports near some place in Belgium that no-one bothered to write down.
Not suicidal because of the massed air power of the Luftwaffe concentrated in the area, but more from the fact that flying over the sea always confuses the shit out of Squeezy and Fingers was having trouble remembering how to fly the plane.

After some stirring words from C.O Total Bastard that went something like;
'You screw up just this much... you're gonna find yourself flying a cargo plane full of rubber dog-shit out of Hong Kong!'
Darris and the lads filled the Burt' with Bourbon, painted a giant penis on the plane in the next hanger and (nursing hangovers) climbed aboard.

Long story short, Squeezy totally fucked up. Wankeyes decided to drop the payload onto the 'water' bit instead of the 'Port' bit. The plane with the giant penis on it seemed to attract a lot of attention and, unsurprisingly, decided to make a vertical landing in a field near Antwerp. Darris snored the whole time which luckily meant that Fingers didn't fall asleep. Fuzzy added another German bullet to his collection and the Luftwaffe, who were obviously feeling generous, added a few holes to Dogmothers' Ball turret - and Dogmother...
Klum once again fainted when a BF110 came into view and had to be revived by Fuzzy, which was pretty impressive given how much blood he had just lost!

After landing the plane safely into the side of the nearest hanger the boys walked slowly to the de-briefing office to face the music...

...except for Ratbrain who was still waiting in the bomb bay for Dogmother to turn up with the cards...

The end.


  1. I hope when I get around to fixing up my PC & downloading this sucker, that's it's filled with as much filth & debauchery as you describe! I'll be most disappointed if it's not Ace :D

  2. Haha! The game is great on it's own, but the filth adds a certain edge I find =)