The Castle 'Aaargh!'

Well actually this is the castle 'Ploppy' (look, it was a long day alright...)

Managed to find a working copy of 'Castles' from 91', a game I was simultaneously fascinated by and frustrated with as a kid.

I'm not sure if there are any castle building/defending/management sims that came out before this?

Just a quick post to start things off - I'm dead set on finally trying to finish this game, a feat beyond my skills and patience as a lad!

To get in the er... mood?

Great building theme that is =)

Here's a few early shots of the mighty fortress 'Ploppy' - I'm only playing as a Duke trying to finish a single castle in a fantasy realm (options include single, triple and eight castles to build - three levels of difficulty and the option of building in medieval or fantasy realms)

Here she is at the start - I made a mistake and ended up with the army digging a moat on the inside of the walls... sigh

Winter and the men are still working shirtless. Those hardy, sturdy, stupid men. Hurry up and finish my dungeon!

 And this happens every Winter... it's a bit nippy outside so everyone and their dog (pictured lower right) hangs out at my place and eats all the food... GET BACK TO WORK!

"This new learning amazes me Sir Bedevere... tell me again how sheep bladders can prevent earthquakes"

I only have a little time to play this one - but have made more progress than I ever used to back in the day! ATM I am also trying desperately to take over the world (Pinky...) in Bullfrog's Powermonger, and trying desperately not to get shot to tiny pieces in Aces over Europe - fuck me but that's a hard game!

Ace

Space Crusade; VICTORY!

Just a quick post on a rainy day.

After trying for YEARS to beat Gremlin's Space Crusade on my Amiga 500 I have finally fought my way through the cold, dark corridors of the space hulks and emerged victorious on the other side!

Yay me =)

Here are a few screen caps (something no one here had heard of in 1993...) of the last mission - sorry that they aren't that good, I was so caught up in the action that I forgot to take a pic most of the time!

And just to set the mood...

Excellent =)

 WELCOME TO SPACE CRUSADE!

UltraMarines for the win!

Maxed out my Commander - only one mission separates him from eternal glory (er, the being alive kind that is...)

 Big boys play with big toys. I always liked the Power axe/bolt pistol combo - bit of a gambit but so much more flexible than the other options.

Cube of Chaos you say eh?? Sounds suspicious, better get on over there and give it a big whack with a Power Axe!

 That would be said 'Cube' then...

"Oh, sorry wrong room..."

 "Avon calling!"

I don't know what it is, but when I look at these walls it just makes me think I'm wandering around a gigantic wine cellar.

Just shy of 100pts but a wins a win! 

And that's a wrap! Sorry for my errant hand in the photo... I believe he's just promoted me to 'Captain SUPREMUS' =)

 Yep, Captain Supremus it is! Top of the heap, king of the castle! Too bad about all the marines that didn't make it... I'll never forget... um... old, um... old whatsisname...

 Nothing like a checklist full of ticks! (Not the insect kind)

Cool. I haven't had a lot of time for many games atm but hopefully will get back to some sporadic Powermongering and maybe even a game of Castles?

Ace

Whizz bangs and Doodle bugs!

Hello, I'm sick.

Here is a collection of things I have done over the last month; while I try to stay awake long enough to bring you something more interesting...

My adventures in B17 have continued - 

 An FW190A complete with smoking bombers in the background. Not good.

 The mighty 'Heavy Burtation' viewed from an inappropriate angle. We should be relieved that the ball turret gunner is not visible... he's special.

 Gang of ruffian FW190s. Honestly, it's hard enough for Daris and the lads to even FIND Germany let alone put up with this shit...

 

 Somehow one of the FW's goes down. I could credit a gunner, but an engine failure is far more likely...

 'Now, everyone remembers where we parked right?'

The crew of the 'Burt' see this a lot. All the other bombers leaving without them...

 'Ja, I forgot mein Quietscheentchen! Ich komme wieder, ok?'

 Ten out of ten for style. I though I was the only one who landed like that...

 On the 'Burt' we have the PORT waist gun and on the other side we have the BOURBON waist gun...

I don't have enough space to talk about the substance abuse that goes on in the cockpit.

 This is the thing that aims the bombs. 'Aims' is an optimistic term.

 Wahaay! America, fuck yeah! Laying eggs on a nunnery and heading for home! Success! 

 Oh shit. Ohh Shiiiiiiiiit! Okay, ok, there's no need to panic. Yet.

 'Oh shit! Get the fuck out of here! - What are you doing? You stupid idiot! Fuck! We're all dead! Get the fuck out!

'Ah, mon Deiu! Parlez-vous Francias?'

 'Ummm... pas vraiment... mon Francias est la merde...'

Luckily not as shit as the drunk dog these elite Sturmtruppen were using that day. Mind you, they were probably drunk as well.

 Fuck, listen to me! Anyone would think I had alcoholic obsession or something. The crew's drunk, the resistance is drunk the Germans are drunk the German dog is drunk... 

...and in other news, I've started to play 'POWERMONGER' again! Yay!

I used to play this on my Amiga 500+ back in the day. I prob wont post too much about it as it's def one of those games you have to play to enjoy, coming from an age before big impressive cut scenes and so forth...

If you aren't sure of what POWERMONGER is - check it out HERE

Actually, I tried to remember how far I had gotten in the game back in my school days but couldn't (it is, after all, a VERY long time ago...) Apparently there are 195 territories to conquer - I doubt I got very far!

 Oh. Well that's nice isn't it. Don't get to see this screen as much as I'd like.

 This was from a little while ago. Pretty much two rows are conquered now (except for a VERY annoying map that make me hate EVERYTHING!!!!) 

Cool, that's me for now. Lots of stuff on its way soon, I've got models, miniatures, toys, terrain, book reviews and more retro game footage to come - just let me shake the lurgy first!

Ace

Blam blam dakka dakka!

More trials and tribulations from the very 'Heavy Burtation!'

Here she is as of mission 6 (or 7... something like that)
Still finding small fish secreted away in cubby holes and panels due to a rather impromptu landing on a big wet version of the runway (the Channel...)

 This is what happens when you try to stop off in Amsterdam for a pint...

After being rescued by Mermaids the lads paddled back to the hanger for tea and scones.
Blam blam and Lance managed to get themselves a nice cushy bed in the infirmary for the next mission (Lance 'the dodger' finally copped a round to the knee and Blam blam pulled a sickie...)
making way for Darris' sister's former roommate Fingers to sully the left hand side of the cockpit with his presence and someone left the bomb bay doors open again allowing Hotlips to sneak back into the tail gun for a nap.

The next death defying (and sleep depriving for Darris) mission would involve a near suicidal attack on some ports near some place in Belgium that no-one bothered to write down.
Not suicidal because of the massed air power of the Luftwaffe concentrated in the area, but more from the fact that flying over the sea always confuses the shit out of Squeezy and Fingers was having trouble remembering how to fly the plane.

After some stirring words from C.O Total Bastard that went something like;
'You screw up just this much... you're gonna find yourself flying a cargo plane full of rubber dog-shit out of Hong Kong!'
Darris and the lads filled the Burt' with Bourbon, painted a giant penis on the plane in the next hanger and (nursing hangovers) climbed aboard.

Long story short, Squeezy totally fucked up. Wankeyes decided to drop the payload onto the 'water' bit instead of the 'Port' bit. The plane with the giant penis on it seemed to attract a lot of attention and, unsurprisingly, decided to make a vertical landing in a field near Antwerp. Darris snored the whole time which luckily meant that Fingers didn't fall asleep. Fuzzy added another German bullet to his collection and the Luftwaffe, who were obviously feeling generous, added a few holes to Dogmothers' Ball turret - and Dogmother...
Klum once again fainted when a BF110 came into view and had to be revived by Fuzzy, which was pretty impressive given how much blood he had just lost!

After landing the plane safely into the side of the nearest hanger the boys walked slowly to the de-briefing office to face the music...

...except for Ratbrain who was still waiting in the bomb bay for Dogmother to turn up with the cards...

The end.

Amazingly Graceless

So here's a quick update on how my latest B17G and her fine crew are getting on.
Here is (please, don't get excited) - The crew of the 'Heavy Burtation'!

This is the third bird I've taken up since starting to play Microprose's 'B17 Flying Fortress' and I have to say that, by George, I might be starting to get the hang of it!!

Here is the roster, basically a list of demented escaped convicts...

This was the starting roster and Darris has been pretty lucky so far that no-one has noticed he's asleep for most of the missions (he always wears his aviators) and has actually snored his way up to Captain now!
Lance was also promoted recently, something to do with bravery I think - oh, and flying the plane for most of the time.
Gertrude the engineer is by far the best shot out of the gunners (his eyes both work and are the least crossed) and is also responsible for plugging up several of the others after they catch some bullets from the Luftwaffe!
Wankeyes does better than his name suggests when it comes time to drop the kegs...
Fuzzy in the radio room, is basically on borrowed time. He's been shot, blown up, burnt, crashed and suffocated... Wicked in a previous life perhaps??
Blamblam's taken a dislike to Fw190's and has brought down four of the buggers in one sitting! Amazing considering how much he preloads on moonshine before takeoff! Always to be found in the empty bomb bay with Dogmother (who, at the moment is in hospital getting a large caliber shell removed from his foot) playing strip poker and spanking Klum.
Squeezy the Navigator hasn't been threatened with aerial execution either as, quite astonishingly, he can both read AND knows what a map is. Amazing.

This is the 'Burt' as she stands now...

...minus the usual bullet holes and scribbled insults to the Germans (sigh, if only the crew could actually read and write...)

And this was the last Kite I took up. The ill-fated 'Cat and Badger'

Hmmm... not good... Hey, I can see my house from here!

Cool, so that's where I'm up to atm. More Painting and modelling to come, and if I can swing it, a bit more Flak, bombs and Bourbon over Europe!

Oh and...
 

I think I may have a problem...

Ace

Fly the friendly skies!

And in other news...

Success! Another perfect landing =)

Taxi!

Space Crusade -

Some Progress!

Officers always leave a mess.

What a handsome young man. Bionic eyes... so hot right now.


Almost there - I can't actually remember finishing the game as a lad on my Amiga. Looking forward to seeing if there is any kind of 'End Game' sequence.

=)

Happy New Year (last week...)

Yeah, so I'm late. Story of my life!

Check this out...

YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW LONG I HAVE LOOKED FOR THESE BOOKS!!!!
Seriously! I can even remember years ago, standing in a secondhand book sellers with a copy of 'Portal of Evil' IN MY HAND and going...
"Meh, probably got that one..." IDIOT!

That was literally YEARS ago! 'Keep' and 'Moonrunner' I haven't had much luck with finding either and then bam, my sister comes round with a bag full of books and says
"want any of these?"

And there they were...

=)

Right, so other things.
These were given to me by awesome peeps as Christmas gifts, to be completed soon-ish...

Look at that, my fist Tamiya 1/72 aircraft kit... I cant even! Seriously too good for the likes of me!

Also on the aircraft front I have noticed that Airfix have released their Do17z kit and are currently making kits for the Defiant and Beufighter! Excellent =)

What else? I was gifted a copy of GW's Mines of Moria a looooooong time ago - I am pleased to report that it is almost completed!
Yes, I mean it! I only have to paint the Heroes. (What is that all about? I always rush in, paint up all the Evil blighters cackling maniacally to myself; and then MAYBE decide to throw some paint over a few do-gooders...) What an evil git I am.

If anyone is interested - I have also managed to get my emulator to play 'Space Crusade' FINALLY!

It's not going too bad for the Ultras atm...

Just look at that shade of lippy... hot as. (Though the white Power Armour probably makes my ass look big...)

2 Missions down and about 8 marines are already off to see the Emperor.
Not a great kill ratio.

Fighting Fantasy #15 'Rings of Kether' is up next for a review. I had already managed to get through it several months ago for a post but that was several months ago and my memory would have played all kinds of tricks on me trying to recall what I did. -
"Attack the drug smuggler, get the flowers and tickle the elephant, do not pass go, leave earth in a spaceship shaped like a mushroom, after freeing the gnome listen to his tales of heroic lingerie shopping, eat the beans..." ETC

Um. Yes.

Ace